If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
