Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Randomize
