3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
