that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize