tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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