I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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