Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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