This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize