I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
