I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
