Do you still have your period?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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