So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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