we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
