If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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