69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
