He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
