is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My pussy is not your playground.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
