called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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