he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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