i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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