Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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