I wanna passion pit in your ass
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
