So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I haven't been this sober since birth.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
