Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
