you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
