I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
