I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
and she was petting her beer can
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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