Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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