I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have aggressive nipples.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize