cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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