Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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