you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
