So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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