would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
