At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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