Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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