Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
