The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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