I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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