2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
