Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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