im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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