I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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