Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
