DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
