Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
