You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
