Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
