I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
