hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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