I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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