i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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