just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
