Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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