YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
