She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
why do cheetos always look like penises
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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