Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize