My friends, they love my intelligence
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
