Well douche your snatch and let's go!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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