Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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