can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
