Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
