how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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