12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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