so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
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If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
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