And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
