I hate your face
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
