they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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