Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he puts the penis in happiness.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
