I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
handjob tips. give me some.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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