True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
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Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
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I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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