hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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