Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
