Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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