The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
