Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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