I want to stick my p in your. b.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize