I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize