Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
