Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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